I hand you a pencil,
you bite off the eraser.
Please, keep your shoes on your feet, sir.
I ask you to find your seat,
into another desk you ram.
Please, put your lip gloss in your cubby, ma'am.
I say, "Push in your chairs!"
You growl like prowling grizzly bears.
I say, "Fold your hands!"
Your eyes begin to gaze into far off lands.
I say, "Voices off!"
Up, up, UP your voices loft.
Yet,
When you pull a hair off my shirt,
leave a love note on my desk when you see I am hurt..
Allow me to hug away your tears,
and encourage away any deep, dark fears..
I am filled with a sense of awe,
..even if I catch you in yet another pencil gnaw.
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
1.25.2011
1.01.2011
Nutshell.
Mildly wishing I had been awake an hour earlier to catch the clock at 11:11 on 1/1/11. So glad I still have a chance [assuming I can stay awake amidst my all-consuming need to regain my sleep schedule].
As 2010 drew near to its close, I had a few options lying before me. Among them, in no particular order of desire: spending time with family, a close-knit gathering of close friends, an evening of sparkly shenanigans...
This year has been one for the books [quite literally]. I've loved and lost, succeeded and failed [miserably], regularly weaved my way through three states, flew more times than my credited miles account for [ooops], gained teaching certification in 2 states, been fingerprinted twice [also in 2 states], interviewed my little heart out, taught my little heart out, cried my little heart out, drank coffee like it was my job [wish it was], dyed my hair, moved home, overcame my fear of bees, became a cat person, became a morning person [slightly disturbing], discovered boxed wine, learned how to dougie, and encountered the true meaning of the phrase "money does not bring happiness" [nor does job security, full-coverage benefits, or a 7-7 job, but I'll save that for another time].
With all this and more in mind, I chose to do the "NYE UNTHINKABLE". I stayed in. Alone. By myself.
Armed with Netflix, a carefully planned and prepared homemade dinner, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, comfy socks, pen and paper, hot chocolate, chocolate, and fresh flowers [bought by and for myself, thank you very much], I took the leap and denied all resounding desires to dance and laugh my way into the new year. This took courage.
Reflection, meditation, and I have always been three peas in a pod [up until September, that is]. Regardless of how nerve-racking it can be [I have a dangerous mind], I've missed this. You have to take time to examine where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with. A simple enough notion that I've completely neglected in these last few months. To say that I've been a robot is putting it rather lightly. I've never felt like less of myself.
A friend once advised me that to be happy - to reach a state of holistic fulfillment and peace - we can't focus on what reality always tells us. What does reality tell you? Last spring, reality whispered these little words in my ear - money, job security, full-coverage benefits, and a 7-7 job. By reality I don't mean the reality of responsibility. I mean the reality of the world - that your heart and soul mean nothing in the scheme of life, the ladder of success, and all that drives and provides our worldly possessions We have to listen to what reality tells us, but when reality begins stripping away every beautiful layer of your heart, it's time to run like hell.
I wouldn't say that I'm running. I'm not interested in running. I am, however, interested in getting as far away from the lies of the world as possible in my quest to reclaim the passion that once stood boldly at the forefront of my very being. Wow that was intense. Thank you, coffee.
What I'm saying is that I'd like to get back a piece of me that I feel I've lost.
Since I haven't had much time with my ever-faithful friends, Reflection and Meditation, I thought I'd invite them back in for a night.
If you're one to do so, please keep me in prayer. This school year has been a good one and I plan to finish it out strong; however, I'm sensing a change of direction in the months ahead. Terrifyingly necessary.
I know it's easy for some to weave through "The Roaring Twenties" fresh-faced and unharmed. I, of course, am on the path with blistered feet and tired eyes. I take comfort in the fact that lessons learned are unavoidably placed and that, simply put, I'm not alone.
As 2010 drew near to its close, I had a few options lying before me. Among them, in no particular order of desire: spending time with family, a close-knit gathering of close friends, an evening of sparkly shenanigans...
This year has been one for the books [quite literally]. I've loved and lost, succeeded and failed [miserably], regularly weaved my way through three states, flew more times than my credited miles account for [ooops], gained teaching certification in 2 states, been fingerprinted twice [also in 2 states], interviewed my little heart out, taught my little heart out, cried my little heart out, drank coffee like it was my job [wish it was], dyed my hair, moved home, overcame my fear of bees, became a cat person, became a morning person [slightly disturbing], discovered boxed wine, learned how to dougie, and encountered the true meaning of the phrase "money does not bring happiness" [nor does job security, full-coverage benefits, or a 7-7 job, but I'll save that for another time].
With all this and more in mind, I chose to do the "NYE UNTHINKABLE". I stayed in. Alone. By myself.
Armed with Netflix, a carefully planned and prepared homemade dinner, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, comfy socks, pen and paper, hot chocolate, chocolate, and fresh flowers [bought by and for myself, thank you very much], I took the leap and denied all resounding desires to dance and laugh my way into the new year. This took courage.
Reflection, meditation, and I have always been three peas in a pod [up until September, that is]. Regardless of how nerve-racking it can be [I have a dangerous mind], I've missed this. You have to take time to examine where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with. A simple enough notion that I've completely neglected in these last few months. To say that I've been a robot is putting it rather lightly. I've never felt like less of myself.
A friend once advised me that to be happy - to reach a state of holistic fulfillment and peace - we can't focus on what reality always tells us. What does reality tell you? Last spring, reality whispered these little words in my ear - money, job security, full-coverage benefits, and a 7-7 job. By reality I don't mean the reality of responsibility. I mean the reality of the world - that your heart and soul mean nothing in the scheme of life, the ladder of success, and all that drives and provides our worldly possessions We have to listen to what reality tells us, but when reality begins stripping away every beautiful layer of your heart, it's time to run like hell.
I wouldn't say that I'm running. I'm not interested in running. I am, however, interested in getting as far away from the lies of the world as possible in my quest to reclaim the passion that once stood boldly at the forefront of my very being. Wow that was intense. Thank you, coffee.
What I'm saying is that I'd like to get back a piece of me that I feel I've lost.
Since I haven't had much time with my ever-faithful friends, Reflection and Meditation, I thought I'd invite them back in for a night.
If you're one to do so, please keep me in prayer. This school year has been a good one and I plan to finish it out strong; however, I'm sensing a change of direction in the months ahead. Terrifyingly necessary.
I know it's easy for some to weave through "The Roaring Twenties" fresh-faced and unharmed. I, of course, am on the path with blistered feet and tired eyes. I take comfort in the fact that lessons learned are unavoidably placed and that, simply put, I'm not alone.
11.25.2010
8 Mile, Vaulted Ceilings, and Saxophones
Born and raised in Detroit. Love Detroit. Well, love/hate relationship would be more accurate, I suppose. Connection is what it is. At any rate, the Detroit I know is by far significantly different from the Detroit most others know. The interesting thing is that each person knows it to be something different. Crime, poverty, segregation, sports, mo-town, industry, culture..
When I was little, my dad used to take us to Belle Isle, a non-residential island in the Detroit River, armed with apples and an old shopping bag of air-popped popcorn, ready to feed the ducks and deer. We'd walk the River Walk at the fireworks, ride the People Mover on game days, take family pictures outside the DIA, and anxiously await the first glimpse of buildings when driving south on Gratiot. Detroit, especially Downtown, was like magic.
It goes without saying that Detroit has shown me a whole new side of itself.
Last night was the first time I ventured south of 8 Mile to experience the "Downtown Scene", coincidentally on the biggest bar night of the year. Lovely.
I chose to drive [draw your own conclusions here], which [fortunately] gave me a truly authentic experience. Lovely, indeed.
Having spent some time in Chicago and New York, I was anxious to see my Detroit in the same light. WAS NOT disappointed.
The Park Bar had AMAZING Mediterranean food - hummus, shawarmas, oil and vinegar salad with cucumbers and feta and..my oh my.
Grand Trunk Pub offered the perfect mix of rich history, breathtaking architecture, and local brews. Beauty.
Aaand of course, my first jazz bar. Cliff Bells was fantastic - classy and casual. Incredibly low-key. I fell in love here.
This will most likely be the first and last time I talk about a scene on here, but MAAN was it hard to resist. I finally feel like a local - pretty sure that alone is deserving of a high five.
When I was little, my dad used to take us to Belle Isle, a non-residential island in the Detroit River, armed with apples and an old shopping bag of air-popped popcorn, ready to feed the ducks and deer. We'd walk the River Walk at the fireworks, ride the People Mover on game days, take family pictures outside the DIA, and anxiously await the first glimpse of buildings when driving south on Gratiot. Detroit, especially Downtown, was like magic.
It goes without saying that Detroit has shown me a whole new side of itself.
Last night was the first time I ventured south of 8 Mile to experience the "Downtown Scene", coincidentally on the biggest bar night of the year. Lovely.
I chose to drive [draw your own conclusions here], which [fortunately] gave me a truly authentic experience. Lovely, indeed.
Having spent some time in Chicago and New York, I was anxious to see my Detroit in the same light. WAS NOT disappointed.
The Park Bar had AMAZING Mediterranean food - hummus, shawarmas, oil and vinegar salad with cucumbers and feta and..my oh my.
Grand Trunk Pub offered the perfect mix of rich history, breathtaking architecture, and local brews. Beauty.
Aaand of course, my first jazz bar. Cliff Bells was fantastic - classy and casual. Incredibly low-key. I fell in love here.
This will most likely be the first and last time I talk about a scene on here, but MAAN was it hard to resist. I finally feel like a local - pretty sure that alone is deserving of a high five.
11.11.2010
When did I become a morning person?
November. It's NovemberI'tsNovemberIt'sNovember.
I woke up this morning, a morning on which I'm headed to a conference (leaving my kids with a sub - AH), to a phone call from my teammate informing me that the school is closed today. Thank you, shot transformer, for the blessing in disguise. Sure, I would have had the day off too, but MAN the joy in knowing that my kids won't shoot that sub's brains out is INCREDIBLE.
Everyday I'm told the same thing -
"Man, you have a tough bunch."
"Those kids are just [insert various synonyms for 'ridiculous' here]."
"Why would they stick you with the roughest group?"
"You have your hands full!"
.....and my personal favorite.....
"Whew! Glad I'm not in your shoes!"
It says something when I went back to my desk the other day to find a folded up note from a student to me that said simply, "Wonder Woman".
I think it's safe to say that I've never, never ever, been in this position before. I've never felt so stretched, so challenged. I love my kids, but when you have 4 that are considered "severely emotionally and socially unstable", it's painful to say the least. Every day, every moment, is a brand new one. I'm finding myself constantly having to remind myself to breathe. I've figured out how to control each of the four individually and the class as a whole without one or more of them, but when all 28 are present - it's a complete toss-up. One moment might be awesome, the next a disaster when one of my 4 has a meltdown over another student accidentally touching his arm. Meltdown times are angry times. Tears, screams, grunts, stomps...
I can say this - If I wasn't being encouraged regularly by my administration with praise for the "amazing, incredible, rockstar" job I'm doing, I can guarantee I wouldn't be here. That's the other thing - I'm not doing an amazing, incredible, rockstar job. I don't see it in myself, and I certainly do not feel it at the end of the day. Somehow they're seeing it, though, and that tells me one thing - I'm not the one controlling that room. God's mysteries never cease.
I wish I had blogged more - I have so much to say. Good therapy, too. I don't know. This is just a snapshot of what's going on in my mind - the next thing being whether or not to continue on in Detroit or move forward in pursuit of the passion I still have for somewhere else. I can say this - if I can survive this year, I can survive anything.
On some good notes:
I'm doing a project with my kids where I send out our friend, Marvin [a stuffed mouse], on a journey around the world to learn about various places. He's been to Tennessee and is currently in NYC, heading next to the Dominican Republic over the holiday. I am LOVING it, and PRAISE GOD so are the kids! It's bonding them, which I'm telling you they need desperately. Such a beautiful thing. Anyways, I'm thankful to those that are welcoming Marvin in - It's incredible to know I have such warm friends, willing to help out so selflessly.
With that, my kids are getting pen pals...
....from NEW YORK CITY!
I found a 2nd grade class in Brooklyn in the same network of schools as ours that is willing to team up for the year. Again, anything to bond those kids and give them some added excitement for life.
I woke up this morning, a morning on which I'm headed to a conference (leaving my kids with a sub - AH), to a phone call from my teammate informing me that the school is closed today. Thank you, shot transformer, for the blessing in disguise. Sure, I would have had the day off too, but MAN the joy in knowing that my kids won't shoot that sub's brains out is INCREDIBLE.
Everyday I'm told the same thing -
"Man, you have a tough bunch."
"Those kids are just [insert various synonyms for 'ridiculous' here]."
"Why would they stick you with the roughest group?"
"You have your hands full!"
.....and my personal favorite.....
"Whew! Glad I'm not in your shoes!"
It says something when I went back to my desk the other day to find a folded up note from a student to me that said simply, "Wonder Woman".
I think it's safe to say that I've never, never ever, been in this position before. I've never felt so stretched, so challenged. I love my kids, but when you have 4 that are considered "severely emotionally and socially unstable", it's painful to say the least. Every day, every moment, is a brand new one. I'm finding myself constantly having to remind myself to breathe. I've figured out how to control each of the four individually and the class as a whole without one or more of them, but when all 28 are present - it's a complete toss-up. One moment might be awesome, the next a disaster when one of my 4 has a meltdown over another student accidentally touching his arm. Meltdown times are angry times. Tears, screams, grunts, stomps...
I can say this - If I wasn't being encouraged regularly by my administration with praise for the "amazing, incredible, rockstar" job I'm doing, I can guarantee I wouldn't be here. That's the other thing - I'm not doing an amazing, incredible, rockstar job. I don't see it in myself, and I certainly do not feel it at the end of the day. Somehow they're seeing it, though, and that tells me one thing - I'm not the one controlling that room. God's mysteries never cease.
I wish I had blogged more - I have so much to say. Good therapy, too. I don't know. This is just a snapshot of what's going on in my mind - the next thing being whether or not to continue on in Detroit or move forward in pursuit of the passion I still have for somewhere else. I can say this - if I can survive this year, I can survive anything.
On some good notes:
I'm doing a project with my kids where I send out our friend, Marvin [a stuffed mouse], on a journey around the world to learn about various places. He's been to Tennessee and is currently in NYC, heading next to the Dominican Republic over the holiday. I am LOVING it, and PRAISE GOD so are the kids! It's bonding them, which I'm telling you they need desperately. Such a beautiful thing. Anyways, I'm thankful to those that are welcoming Marvin in - It's incredible to know I have such warm friends, willing to help out so selflessly.
With that, my kids are getting pen pals...
....from NEW YORK CITY!
I found a 2nd grade class in Brooklyn in the same network of schools as ours that is willing to team up for the year. Again, anything to bond those kids and give them some added excitement for life.
9.20.2010
disappear into the haze
Our ladies.
...and our gentlemen.
See our school's newest project here - they were SO incredibly excited to see these things!
9.10.2010
timers, cough drops, and Coolio
Day 1: Survival.
Day 2: For better or for worse.
Day 3: Hell.
Day 4: .....Glory!
As I sit reflecting on my first official week as a lead teacher, I find myself asking one very significant and crucial question:
Why, oh dear Lord WHY, did I deny myself COFFEE this week? Seriously, Betsy? Your first week teaching and you reeeallyy think it wise to ignore the mug and pot? This just gives you a glimpse into my utter lack of acknowledging all things sane and rational this week. My mind has been a dangerous place. Coolio would be proud.
I really don't even know where to begin. Against my initial thoughts and understandings, I'm right where I'm supposed to be and I see that so intensely in the eyes of each of the 28 seven-year-olds surrounding me. Whether they're a deer in headlights or gripping my waist in admiration with eyes that scream "Please love me!", they've already captured my heart in ways I never dreamt possible. It's an odd feeling - being face to face with your dream come alive.
The culture is certainly different - I am the minority (28:1) - Significant only in that it requires an increased level of empathy and wisdom to say and do what will ultimately meet their specific needs. [Case in point: While waiting for pick-ups at dismissal, the appropriate "filler game" would NOT be Simon Says, but rather a dance-off to the beat of the bass bumpin' down the street.]
I'm learning to keep it simple. To hug and hug often. Patience. To welcome each day with a smile. To set a timer. To pick and choose your battles. Ebonics. And to always, always have cough drops, water, and chap stick on hand.
One day at a time. Looking forward to an enlightening and fruitful week 2.
Day 2: For better or for worse.
Day 3: Hell.
Day 4: .....Glory!
As I sit reflecting on my first official week as a lead teacher, I find myself asking one very significant and crucial question:
Why, oh dear Lord WHY, did I deny myself COFFEE this week? Seriously, Betsy? Your first week teaching and you reeeallyy think it wise to ignore the mug and pot? This just gives you a glimpse into my utter lack of acknowledging all things sane and rational this week. My mind has been a dangerous place. Coolio would be proud.
I really don't even know where to begin. Against my initial thoughts and understandings, I'm right where I'm supposed to be and I see that so intensely in the eyes of each of the 28 seven-year-olds surrounding me. Whether they're a deer in headlights or gripping my waist in admiration with eyes that scream "Please love me!", they've already captured my heart in ways I never dreamt possible. It's an odd feeling - being face to face with your dream come alive.
The culture is certainly different - I am the minority (28:1) - Significant only in that it requires an increased level of empathy and wisdom to say and do what will ultimately meet their specific needs. [Case in point: While waiting for pick-ups at dismissal, the appropriate "filler game" would NOT be Simon Says, but rather a dance-off to the beat of the bass bumpin' down the street.]
I'm learning to keep it simple. To hug and hug often. Patience. To welcome each day with a smile. To set a timer. To pick and choose your battles. Ebonics. And to always, always have cough drops, water, and chap stick on hand.
One day at a time. Looking forward to an enlightening and fruitful week 2.
7.24.2010
Our class costume trunk. Awesome? I think so.
Equally as awesome would be the below items which have also found their way into my anxious little paws:
1. Two Abnormally Small Children's Chairs
2. Large Inflatable Geometric Shapes
3. Fica Tree
4. Abe Lincoln Hat. And beard.
5. Sombrero
I should really start sticking to a budget.
7.21.2010
Grammas, Power, and Doggy Tails
Right now,
Everything you want is wrong.
And right now,
All your dreams are waking up.
-- Joseph Arthur, Honey and the Moon
Feeling like I'm at a point in my journey where I need to stop and do some serious reflecting. It's been awhile.
This past week, my sister and I, along with some of our closest family members, spent some time up north for a traditional and annual family getaway. Much needed on many, many levels. So much so that I hadn't even realized how badly I needed a few moments simply to breathe - A vital gift I have been taking for granted.
One morning, while chatting with my Gramma over morning coffee (I'm convinced that no member in my family can make a bad cup of coffee. ever), I found myself trying to hold back tears while topping off my cup. The sun was shining, I had gotten a beautiful nights sleep, a day of boating was ahead, my bangs were looking awesome...why the tears? Well, leave it to the women in my life to say exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. '
What I got from that wise woman that morning is this - In these last three years, I've seen nothing but change. Every external area of my life, by choice and by force, has changed dramatically, quickly and repeatedly. When extreme life change happens to you, it's easy to forget about it once you're in the swing of new forces, especially when others take the central focus over your own needs. Story of my life.
#1. Changes. Constant, uncontrollable changes have been throwing me around like a leaf. Or a puck on an ice rink.
I'm not going to lie and pretend like it's easy for me to talk about leaving New York, my dream, behind. I don't expect anyone to understand the significance of that in my life - I'm only beginning to understand it now. New York has a very powerful force over me - a force I think only a few understand. I can joke about rebounding on NY with Kentucky, putting NY in time out for not letting go of me, and toasting NY to seven long years of exhausting joy and hope, but I'm not joking when I say that it's been hard to leave. My heart sinks when I think of how close I was, and when I remember what I left behind. A dream. To this day, if someone asks me what I want, my answer is the same as it was 3,4,5 years ago - I want to be in New York. I want it more now than I ever have (this past year has proven that to me). What I've learned is this - the answer is never that simple. What I want is of little importance and, in this case, what I want is very clearly "wrong".
#2. What I want. What I want is to never, ever give up on the dream God has laid before me. To never, ever let weaken that passion He has so abruptly and painfully burned on my heart.
What I want and what I need to do usually coincide. Very simple, no complications. In this case, however, I've seen an evolution of want to need that has severely impacted my life. For a very long time, the passion that I had for inner-city work coincided with NY. The two were inseparable [when I say inseparable, I mean no other option could even be considered]. Leave it to the Lord to separate something inseparable.
Eventually, I grew to understand my God-given passion to be centrally focused on cities [joblessness, illness, homelessness, high crime, addiction, vicious cycles, generational poverty...], and less on a specific region. You can imagine what this did to my perfectly organized and color-coded plan.
What I wanted was to go to NY. What I needed was to follow the Lord's whispers and trust that He would use my passion where He deemed necessary.
#3. The dream. To live a life of service unto others by unconditionally and actively loving those in the inner-city, be it the city I love, the city I was trained in, or city in which my roots were grown. A city is a city, and love wears no masks.
Detroit. Tricky fellow that God. If you want to chase something other than God's purpose you might as well be chasing after your own, nonexistent tail because that's about as far as you're going to get - vicious circles.
All this to say, for now I rest in peace knowing that I'm where I need to be. I still believe very fervently that my passion for NY also has purpose, a very strong purpose, but timing is everything, eh?
Until then, DETROIT. Whew!
View Larger Map
I should take a screen shot to show you my lists. They're colorful.
The first week in August I'll be up in Grand Rapids for a week-long orientation. It's nice - while we're there, we have the option of venturing out on 3 different 'excursions' in the evenings to bond and kill time - A White Caps game, a trip to a local conservatory, and an evening in Grand Haven enjoying the lake and [I believe] Coast Guard festival. I'm anxious to get to know some other new hires, my administration, and the system. I believe our planning will officially begin a week or so after the orientation. Photos to come.
Many, many, many many photos to come.
Everything you want is wrong.
And right now,
All your dreams are waking up.
-- Joseph Arthur, Honey and the Moon
Feeling like I'm at a point in my journey where I need to stop and do some serious reflecting. It's been awhile.
This past week, my sister and I, along with some of our closest family members, spent some time up north for a traditional and annual family getaway. Much needed on many, many levels. So much so that I hadn't even realized how badly I needed a few moments simply to breathe - A vital gift I have been taking for granted.
One morning, while chatting with my Gramma over morning coffee (I'm convinced that no member in my family can make a bad cup of coffee. ever), I found myself trying to hold back tears while topping off my cup. The sun was shining, I had gotten a beautiful nights sleep, a day of boating was ahead, my bangs were looking awesome...why the tears? Well, leave it to the women in my life to say exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. '
What I got from that wise woman that morning is this - In these last three years, I've seen nothing but change. Every external area of my life, by choice and by force, has changed dramatically, quickly and repeatedly. When extreme life change happens to you, it's easy to forget about it once you're in the swing of new forces, especially when others take the central focus over your own needs. Story of my life.
#1. Changes. Constant, uncontrollable changes have been throwing me around like a leaf. Or a puck on an ice rink.
I'm not going to lie and pretend like it's easy for me to talk about leaving New York, my dream, behind. I don't expect anyone to understand the significance of that in my life - I'm only beginning to understand it now. New York has a very powerful force over me - a force I think only a few understand. I can joke about rebounding on NY with Kentucky, putting NY in time out for not letting go of me, and toasting NY to seven long years of exhausting joy and hope, but I'm not joking when I say that it's been hard to leave. My heart sinks when I think of how close I was, and when I remember what I left behind. A dream. To this day, if someone asks me what I want, my answer is the same as it was 3,4,5 years ago - I want to be in New York. I want it more now than I ever have (this past year has proven that to me). What I've learned is this - the answer is never that simple. What I want is of little importance and, in this case, what I want is very clearly "wrong".
#2. What I want. What I want is to never, ever give up on the dream God has laid before me. To never, ever let weaken that passion He has so abruptly and painfully burned on my heart.
What I want and what I need to do usually coincide. Very simple, no complications. In this case, however, I've seen an evolution of want to need that has severely impacted my life. For a very long time, the passion that I had for inner-city work coincided with NY. The two were inseparable [when I say inseparable, I mean no other option could even be considered]. Leave it to the Lord to separate something inseparable.
Eventually, I grew to understand my God-given passion to be centrally focused on cities [joblessness, illness, homelessness, high crime, addiction, vicious cycles, generational poverty...], and less on a specific region. You can imagine what this did to my perfectly organized and color-coded plan.
What I wanted was to go to NY. What I needed was to follow the Lord's whispers and trust that He would use my passion where He deemed necessary.
#3. The dream. To live a life of service unto others by unconditionally and actively loving those in the inner-city, be it the city I love, the city I was trained in, or city in which my roots were grown. A city is a city, and love wears no masks.
Detroit. Tricky fellow that God. If you want to chase something other than God's purpose you might as well be chasing after your own, nonexistent tail because that's about as far as you're going to get - vicious circles.
All this to say, for now I rest in peace knowing that I'm where I need to be. I still believe very fervently that my passion for NY also has purpose, a very strong purpose, but timing is everything, eh?
Until then, DETROIT. Whew!
View Larger Map
I should take a screen shot to show you my lists. They're colorful.
The first week in August I'll be up in Grand Rapids for a week-long orientation. It's nice - while we're there, we have the option of venturing out on 3 different 'excursions' in the evenings to bond and kill time - A White Caps game, a trip to a local conservatory, and an evening in Grand Haven enjoying the lake and [I believe] Coast Guard festival. I'm anxious to get to know some other new hires, my administration, and the system. I believe our planning will officially begin a week or so after the orientation. Photos to come.
Many, many, many many photos to come.
6.14.2010
Grape Juice
"This bridge will only take you halfway there
To those mysterious lands you long to see:
Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs,
And moonlit woods where unicorns run free.
So come and walk awhile with me and share
The twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known.
But this bridge will only take you halfway there-
The last few steps you'll have to take alone"
- The Bridge, Shel Silverstein
Goodness, I've been hired! Detroit Enterprise Academy, a National Heritage Academy in Detroit, has brought me on as one of their 2nd grade teachers for the upcoming school year! They initially hired me in with a 5th grade position, but they've since moved me down (much MUCH to my surprise and, of course, excitement considering this!)
I am ECSTATIC. I'm not even sure if that adequately depicts my current state of emotion. Multiply it by a couple hundreds.
At any rate, I feel like one of those European grape stomping ladies - knee deep in planning with one incredibly goofy smile on my face.
To those mysterious lands you long to see:
Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs,
And moonlit woods where unicorns run free.
So come and walk awhile with me and share
The twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known.
But this bridge will only take you halfway there-
The last few steps you'll have to take alone"
- The Bridge, Shel Silverstein
Goodness, I've been hired! Detroit Enterprise Academy, a National Heritage Academy in Detroit, has brought me on as one of their 2nd grade teachers for the upcoming school year! They initially hired me in with a 5th grade position, but they've since moved me down (much MUCH to my surprise and, of course, excitement considering this!)
I am ECSTATIC. I'm not even sure if that adequately depicts my current state of emotion. Multiply it by a couple hundreds.
At any rate, I feel like one of those European grape stomping ladies - knee deep in planning with one incredibly goofy smile on my face.
5.10.2010
I LOVE...
Detroit, and its people. Especially its people. I couldn't be more excited to come home.
Thought I should throw that in there :)
Thought I should throw that in there :)
The Motor City, Secret Rendezvous, and a Time-Out Chair
Tonight I fly home for my final round of interviews. I'll be spending 2 full days at one school (one day in a 2nd/3rd grade class and the other in 7th/8th reading), shadowing in the morning and teaching in the afternoon. On the third day I'll be teaching a sample lesson to a Kindergarten class at the 2nd school. I feel as much as can be expected: anxious, excited, nervous...
I have my Kindergarten lesson planned and ready to go. The first school, however, has yet to give me any details regarding subject components or even specific grade targets (I could be in either 2nd or 3rd)...not that this has discouraged me (I'm actually leaning towards this school). Hello, last-minute planning. It's nice to see you again.
Detroit was never, ever my plan - at least not initially. I always figured I would come back to Detroit after spending some time in a more diversely urban setting (Chicago, New York). It isn't that New York wouldn't have worked out for next year, I'm just sensing that it wouldn't be the best for me at this point. I'm not quite equipped with the things (resources, finances, knowledge) I would need to be successful in New York. Of course faith, hard work and passion would carry me a long way, but what it comes down to is that it isn't about me and what I can do - it's about doing what's best for those around me. If I stayed in New York, I wouldn't be able to give to the extent that I had always wanted to. It isn't about the buildings, the culture, the history, the environment...while I love ALL of that, my focus needed to shift. If my focus is what I've claimed it to be, then it shouldn't matter where I am. It does matter, but it shouldn't to the extent that I've held it.
It's so hard being in the city, knowing that I've come so far only to turn back around and return to the original starting point. Melissa and I were in yesterday and, I'm telling you, I still haven't made peace with it. My mind and heart knows what's best and where I'm being called to go, but it's as if my heart is having a secret rendezvous with the city while my mind isn't looking! Risky little thing. I was 17 when I first proclaimed, loud and proud, that NYC would be my future home. That's 7 years of planning, dreaming and scheming to sort through. I guess I can forgive my heart for hanging on to something so tightly. I still think it needs a time out, though.
Here's to hoping I hear from principal 1 today regarding tomorrow's details. I can't be held responsible for what might happen if don't have adequate list-making time.
I have my Kindergarten lesson planned and ready to go. The first school, however, has yet to give me any details regarding subject components or even specific grade targets (I could be in either 2nd or 3rd)...not that this has discouraged me (I'm actually leaning towards this school). Hello, last-minute planning. It's nice to see you again.
Detroit was never, ever my plan - at least not initially. I always figured I would come back to Detroit after spending some time in a more diversely urban setting (Chicago, New York). It isn't that New York wouldn't have worked out for next year, I'm just sensing that it wouldn't be the best for me at this point. I'm not quite equipped with the things (resources, finances, knowledge) I would need to be successful in New York. Of course faith, hard work and passion would carry me a long way, but what it comes down to is that it isn't about me and what I can do - it's about doing what's best for those around me. If I stayed in New York, I wouldn't be able to give to the extent that I had always wanted to. It isn't about the buildings, the culture, the history, the environment...while I love ALL of that, my focus needed to shift. If my focus is what I've claimed it to be, then it shouldn't matter where I am. It does matter, but it shouldn't to the extent that I've held it.
It's so hard being in the city, knowing that I've come so far only to turn back around and return to the original starting point. Melissa and I were in yesterday and, I'm telling you, I still haven't made peace with it. My mind and heart knows what's best and where I'm being called to go, but it's as if my heart is having a secret rendezvous with the city while my mind isn't looking! Risky little thing. I was 17 when I first proclaimed, loud and proud, that NYC would be my future home. That's 7 years of planning, dreaming and scheming to sort through. I guess I can forgive my heart for hanging on to something so tightly. I still think it needs a time out, though.
Here's to hoping I hear from principal 1 today regarding tomorrow's details. I can't be held responsible for what might happen if don't have adequate list-making time.
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